Director, please

Question from Oklahoma:

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First, minor penalty cards only appear accidentally, either by being dropped or by being stuck to another card. So if a player puts a card down as though he was dummy, even a single card, it will be a major penalty card, not a minor one.

In fact, if you have two or more penalty cards, they are always major anyway. A minor penalty card is only ever a single card which is not an honour. So in this case, all four cards are major penalty cards.

When the defender with the penalty cards ["the offender"] had to play to the first trick, declarer, not the offender, can choose which spade is to be played.

Whenever his partner is on lead while there is still at least one penalty card on the table, declarer has options. So, after the spade wins trick one, declarer can:
   Require a spade lead;
   Forbid a spade lead for as long as offender's partner retains the lead;
   Require a heart lead;
   Forbid a heart lead for as long as offender's partner retains the lead;
   Forbid either a heart or a spade lead for as long as he retains the lead; or
   Just let him lead what he likes.

If declarer requires or forbids a spade lead, the offender picks up his spade. If he requires or forbids a heart lead, the offender picks up both his hearts. If he forbids a spade lead and a heart lead, the offender picks up his spade and both his hearts. If he does none of these, the cards stay on the table as major penalty cards.

Let us suppose that declarer says "Play anything" and the defender leads a diamond. The offender will have to play a diamond, of course, but suppose he has not got one? Then declarer can choose which of the three penalty cards is played to that trick. This continues while the offender has two or three cards visible.

Finally, if the offender's partner loses the lead, then gets back on lead -- and if there are still one or more penalty cards -- declarer has the same options in the suits of cards still visible.

The law does not mention how many penalty cards, so if someone puts down their full hand, the above approach applies to 13 penalty cards. I once had 12 penalty cards; the director incorrectly ruled it as unplayable, and I was livid. Not because I had lost a very good score -- they later adjusted it for me --  but because I did not get the fun of playing it with 12 penalty cards!